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Five Reasons Why Buying a House Is a Much Bigger Commitment Than Marriage

Some couples might not be ready for marriage, but they are happy to join together in buying a house. Here, Realtor.com discusses why purchasing a home is much more of a commitment than walking down the aisle.

1. You can return a ring—but not a house

There are almost always clauses that allow at least a 50 percent refund from wedding vendors if someone gets cold feet. There is no such return on a house. It’s just about impossible to “return a home” after you’ve bought it. And that means there’s no wiggle room to change your mind—or, if you do, you’re looking at a much bigger financial loss than some flowers.

2. A house can’t go into counseling

Even the best couples can go through difficult times, and when they do, counseling can be a good option. And sure, you can “work on” a house as well—by swapping out a pedestal sink or installing soapstone counters, for example. But the bones of the home will remain. The plumbing will remain. The electrical wiring is hard to change when it’s installed wrong and the house is 100 years old. The size of your lot won’t change, either, unless you buy the lot next door. You have to accept a house for what it is because even if you could change it, you are looking at tens of thousands of dollars to do so. A person can pay $20 for a yoga class or $200 for couples counseling, or do some deep squats for free and vastly improve themselves. That’s a bargain compared with what it takes to change a house.

3. You can’t give a house the cold shoulder

When you have a tiff in a marriage, you can blow off steam in different rooms. You can go for a drive and ignore your spouse’s texts while you cool off. Meanwhile, houses can’t be ignored. Turn the heat down at the wrong time, and you could be looking at a burst pipe the next day. Neglect one small trickle of water, and the next thing you know, you have $5,000 in water damage. Absence makes a heart grow fonder in a marriage. But it makes a house grow weaker and more expensive.

4. To ’divorce’ your house, you have to get someone else to buy it first

If you get divorced, you divide assets. Putting aside any children that might be involved, your spouse’s problems no longer are your problems. However, a house is your problem, at least until you can find someone willing to take it off your hands. That can be tough when a home inspection reveals an oil tank buried in your front yard that your own home inspector missed, or a faulty chimney you’ll have to fix before this new buyer will even consider getting on board.

5. Houses don’t get better as they get older, they just get worse

We all fall apart as we age, of course, but we also get better. We get wiser. We get gray around the temples in a “distinguished” way. Love grows. When houses grow older, they crumble. Their water heaters leak, then stop working entirely. They need new roofs. In general, upkeep of a human requires much less money and emotional energy than the upkeep of a house.

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